Though the title of this post is about speaking, I am addressing other issues and themes that this also relates to. When I travel (whether it is to compete, speak, attend an event), I meet new people, and experience various reactions to the multiple aspects of my identity. I also learn more about the aspects of my identity as I go into these different situations.
The events I have experienced that happened suddenly (June 2011-press release and 1st national competition) made future events much easier for me. As it relates to speaking, I have been asked if I get nervous. The answer is, usually no. This answer surprises people, and I think it is especially due to my quiet nature and low volume speaking voice. When I was in graduate school, I had to give talks and presentations about my work so I already had some experience. When I was invited to speak at the State Department following Secretary Clinton, I was nervous. But events leading up to it were very rushed, so I did not have time to feel any anxiety. After experiencing that, I have not felt any nervousness for any other future speeches no matter the size of the audience. I relate this to my first competitions. When you go through what you might think will be traumatic, that then becomes familiar. You know things will be fine, what to expect, and whatever happens, you can deal with it.
Additionally, I have learned to be more assertive, letting others know what I need, whether it is academically, professionally or for a speaking event. Generally as women, we do not always explain our needs. I would encourage other women to be mindful of this, and let people around you know what you need. Experience helps you become more comfortable in knowing what you need and communicating that. We should feel more solid in what our worth is, feeling ok to ask for what we need, and not feeling apologetic. Asking at least starts a dialogue that we might be hesitant to start.
A speaker contract is helpful for yourself and the organization requesting you as a speaker. It lays everything out to help have a clear understanding and nothing is overlooked. As mentioned above, females might feel hesitant asking for coverage of financial expenses of travel, board, and optionally an honorarium (though you can choose to give your time freely to those events you want to and can do). One resource are the speaker agreement documents at the NSA website. They are pretty thorough and you can edit them as you need. I believe there is sometimes a bias towards me as a woman when I request a speaking fee but others (male included-such as male religious leaders, scholars, writers, etc.) have told me they believe cultural issues are involved. Not everyone understands the time commitment it takes. But many out there do understand, and I think having an open dialogue is important.
I have had some experiences where I was not always taken seriously. And I honestly believe that if I were a man, those situations would not have occurred. Even those with good intentions do not realize what they say or do. There are still behaviors and perceptions that are ingrained, and I think as female leadership roles and participation is changing and evolving, these issues will arise. When things like that happen, I share my feelings because it is important to me as I think it will help make change.
Everywhere I have gone, I meet people who are very encouraging and supportive of my efforts. I get many questions and this makes me realize the support and interest in what I have done and am doing. My daily routine is not glamorous and nor am I running from paparazzi in spite of having been in the news as many people seem to believe. If someone does not know me already, I am rarely recognized in person. So it is when I travel and meet others that I am reminded of what I inadvertently have done by my weightlifting. I am still surprised when people say they are inspired and amazed by what I have done and do (female and male). So I hope I still get opportunities to meet people as I move forward because the positive reinforcement I receive from others helps me a great deal.